happy 2024. god, am i glad to type that, if only because it looks so much prettier than 2023. most odd numbers have bad vibes, except multiples of 5. the last time someone set my car stereo volume to 23, i had a physical reaction sort of like restless leg syndrome, and i know what that feels like because i have it.
relatedly, i would like to thank my sister, if she’s reading this, for letting me have the aisle seat on the plane ride home from colombia. sorry i weaponized my disease!
here is a list of things i did to procrastinate writing this:
moved my car into the garage
put all the vases into the cabinet above the stove
checked to see if i owned matches
ordered 50 hangers and vitamin c serum on amazon
made a tiktok compilation of every party i went to last year
watched half an episode of top chef
started yoga with adriene’s 30 day yoga challenge
did not allow my wet laundry to rot in the washer
rearranged the living room furniture
bought new underwear
hung a new painting on my bedroom wall
there are many things you can do that are not what you think you need to do but are not necessarily bad things to do. i did not regret doing any of these things, though perhaps in hindsight i should have exchanged a few of the clips in the tiktok.
this is the first year i feel no real pressure whatsoever to reinvent myself in honor of the “new year.” as a registered astrology girly and subscriber to the pagan wheel of the year, my new year starts mid-scorpio season, and then again with aries season. or the first daffodil. whichever comes first.
this is all to say the new year is subjective, and you can choose to start fresh whenever your pinterest feed starts to look a little stale. i do, however, faithfully participate in vision boarding and bucket listing. any excuse to manifest creatively!
i hope no one perceives this as unsolicited new year naysaying. but as someone who has dabbled in extreme personal expectations and life-or-death goal setting for most of her existence, my feeling is that the pressure to evolve and achieve often does more harm than good.
you can yell at your tomatoes all you want, but that’s not going to make them fruit. there are certain conditions for growth that even girlbossing can’t simulate. it’s winter, for heaven’s sake. make some soup. take a bath. organize your playlists. knit yourself a balaclava.
furthermore, i simply can’t be held to the same standards as 19-year-old florida me, when it was 60 degrees in february and physically impossible for me to be hungover unless i drank captain morgan. november brought an extra hour at the bar, and january brought japanese magnolias. under those conditions, frankly, what couldn’t one accomplish?
i started the court of thorns and roses series and finished the first book in three days, the first 200 or so pages in one sitting. it’s miraculous, really – the way engrossing myself in an actually-good-not-boring fantasy series made me genuinely excited for winter. doesn’t hurt that it’s chock-full of faerie smut! remember that books are a perfectly acceptable way to consume pornography in public.
my intentions for this winter are surrender to rest and creative presence. i want to allow myself to fully relax and recharge without secretly panicking about something irrelevant. i want to make time to submit to creative flow, become totally absorbed in whatever practice feels intuitively good, without picking up my phone when i lose interest or momentum.
my life is an art project, not a school assignment. i think to feel silly and unserious, in this age of publicly broadcasted despair, is an enormous and underrated accomplishment. for this reason, i am working on posting more of my actual personality on my instagram story. practice makes palatable.
it’s been snowing all day, but none of it stuck, which is ideal when you’re rocking with a front-wheel drive honda. when we were downtown looking for parking, we found a spot right in front of the coffee shop. i had an entire row to myself on my flight home to salt lake. the thrifted shirt i took a gamble on fit me like a dream. my halloween pumpkin, perched on the front step, remains pristine as the day i picked it out.
i try to be nonchalant about life, which works for about five minutes. when you really think about it, small miracles considered, can any day be truly casual?
obsession of the week
my new hydroflask tumbler (not sponsored), which irrefutably outs me as a practicing corporate baddie. ever since i started liking blue again, things seem better. just things in general!
<3